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An open Letter to Mr. Pramod Muthalik

muthalik

Pramod Muthalik

 

Dear Mr. Muthalik Saar,


It is with deep regret that I saw your face blackened on television. I, like many others who saw you, were stunned  (bhaari bejaar aaithu) and anguished that a person like you could be treated in such a degrading and rude manner; after all we are living in a democracy. Like you always say in your speeches, which are readily published by all newspapers and picked up by TV channels, we are a peace loving country, our tradition and culture is the best, we respect our women and elders, these rascals (sorry saar my blood is boiling that they did this to you. I must use these harsh words to settle my bile means pitha saar) they should definitely be punished Saar. What a waste of charcoal and ink Saar! They should be taught a lesson. Havent they heard of the enormous energy crisis that the world is facing, our country needs coal to fire those big machines (sorry Saar they are called bailers or something like that) to give us electricity what a waste.

But Saar I was more worried about you Saar. I saw you were shaken when they showed those shots of you on TV Saar. I wonder what would have happened if you had seen yourself in the mirror Saar sob sob. Saar you are soo great Saar and you have a lot of followers and punks (fans) Saar just trying to put more traditional Indian word. I am more than a punk Saar, I am an admirer Saar.

Please take my advise Saar. I am sure this will happen again and again until of course you get tired and ask them to use some other colour. Sorry Saar I forgot to give you my advise Saar use Fair and  Lovely immediately and top it,  sorry bottom it with a Pink Chaddi Matching aagathe Saar. This combination will definitely make you look more good and the Fair and Lovely will lighten your existing colour also Saar, not that you look bad already, people are talking worse Saar but how many people can you also run after. Horattakke time bekalla.!!!!!

But Saar democracy must be upheld in our country.  All news channels that I switch on here show your blackened face, only you are regretting that the attack on you is attack on democracy, that these people must be punished. What a thought Saar these days people dont think that way at all, this high level of thinking is only reserved to a few people like you. What a thought!!!

I remember last year Saar one small incident on February 24 in Mangalore, when some people went to a Bar and started beating girls and smashed furniture there. What a pity Saar, what a waste. I know you said that women should not go to bars or be seen there, also consuming alcohol was not in our culture. What a thought Saar!! What high thinking Saar. In this world you have to be different to survive Saar and your thoughts are so unique they seem outlandish. Andhre ee bhooloka da alla. Saar

I am degree holder Mysore University, Old B.A.,Third class pass, without distinction after two and a half attempts. Here Saar I beg to differ. I drink half a bottle of Scotch whiskey a day and it is very difficult to stop it. After drinking I feel, I am more sober and dont disturb anyone, oh yes the reason of my drinking is that one History lecturer Mr. Vishnumurthy told me that brewing liquor and drinking it was in our tradition. He said that during the Indus Valley Civilisation Soma and Sura were intoxicating drinks that were consumed and all people were happy until they disappeared. I really dont know what the truth is Saar. I think this is some ploy of these Gora buggers who discovered the ruins and wrote those History books to sell their Scotch whiskey to us Indians. There should be a CBI probe or a Commision of Enquiry into this matter of National importance. But if I find Mr. Vishnumurthy I will garland him Saar, Why waste charcoal!!!
Saar I forgot the main issue; you must make an agitation that those who hit and molested these girls be punished and respect (maryada) of democracy be restored, with this all the black mark on your face will go.

Saar another issue in which people have misunderstood you is about Valentines Day Saar. Valentine was a Christian priest who many years ago got young people married and those couples gave him gifts hence Valentines gifts. Although your idea is not original, the thought is unique to our culture Saar. You have said that any couples found together will be married off by you. What a noble thought Saar.  Just imagine this Saar, hundreds of poor young boys and girls being married by you, you give them Kariamani, Sari, Dhoti, some bangles for the bride and rings to go with it. Saar all the couples have to do is go on a honeymoon without you. What a Thought Saar!!  All the great thinkers of India must be turning in their graves, why they didnt think of this before. This I think is the best idea since the Atom Bomb. This deserves a Nobel Prize Saar. But other than you who is there to listen to me Saar.

One more thing before I finish this letter Saar I have always followed your speeches with bated breath. What thinking Saar especially about Muslim converting Hindu girls. Love Jihad etc. Hindu Girls must not mix with Muslim Boys etc. You must go to Mumbai Saar and see young people travelling on trains and buses, not only mixing.. touching also Saar Aiyooo.. chipko they say.. Dadha panpooni ye???

No! No! Saar dont go there Saar, come to some villages in Karnataka there are some people who dont even touch each other even if they are of the same sex or religion (Saar Im not gay). They say Jaathi badalag.thede. Saar they also need to be painted. If it is done, then I will still not be your biggest punk (fan) but your biggest admirer.  Saar my English is not very good so I have used Kannada Tulu and one Hindi word Punk which means fan.  I was trying to make my language as traditional as possible . Solupa adjust maadi.

Thanking you for taking pains to understand me.   Happy Valentines Day!


-Brian Nazareth ,Sultanate of Oman

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